I love my family and do my best to love them as they are. Everyone is imperfect, and I am careful to not take the inventories of others. I try to remain patient even when my patience is tested to the limit. Sometimes I fail, and for that I am sorry. Since my weight loss surgery I am more determined than ever to grow as a person.
My family has as many eccentrics as any other family, an assortment of aunts, uncles and cousins who sometimes behave in ways that raise eyebrows. They sometimes speak abruptly and can say hurtful things. Some of the comments that were made when I was obese still sting although they are cause for gratitude about my surgery. They are still capable of asking a poor standard of questions about my weight loss or “complimenting” me on “not being fat anymore.”
People make inappropriate remarks for a few different reasons. Some have poor filters while others may think they are being helpful. Some have poor boundaries and others may be passive aggressive. Too much to drink is always a possibility.
Handling Inappropriate or Harsh Comments After Weight Loss Surgery
People can be rude and that includes family members. Learning to cope in a healthy way is the best choice, so here are some suggestions about what to do if an inappropriate comment is passed.
1. Use your sense of humor. Humor can take the edge off of harsh comments. A lighthearted response can let the offending person know that the comment was rude without being hurtful in return.
2. Set boundaries and attempt to educate the person you are speaking with. Educating people who are too forward is useful and it can empower you as well. If this fails you are always free to end the conversation.
3. Respond honestly to inappropriate questions. People may truly be intereseted but unable to express themselves well.
4. Remain kind. Sometimes this can be effective because it might make the offending person feel guilty about their behavior although not always.
5. Ignore the person who is being rude. Refusing to acknowledge poor behavior is sometimes effective.
6. Finally do not meet rudeness with rudeness. One person behaving inappropriately is more than enough.
Living larger than ever,
My Bariatric Life
Photo by Stuart Miles